razonable salas chap 3(comments in selected sentences below)

An example to such, are cars being extensions to individuals’ feet are also classified as amputations, because it causes obesity, pollution and reduce time of socialization. (faulty)

McLuhan concluded further that technology drastically altered how humans’ (faulty) use their senses and body organs because human beings became more dependent to technology rather than using their own body parts in doing their daily activities (as cited in Kappelman, 2002).

This conclusion is drawn from his observation that in every gadget invented in the vision of making mankind’s life convenient, at the same time it also breeds dependency in every individual. (faulty, fragment because of at the same time)

Technological Determinism’s main point is that human behaviour is affected by the different kinds of influences brought by modern technology that they were exposed to. This is due to our (shift in person from third to first person.suddenly our is included) increasing rate of dependency towards technology and when humans became dependent to technology, reliance to it in doing daily activities becomes a habit.
Our (shift in person) habits are what constitute our attitude and personality. Thus, if there is a change in habitual activities, then there is also change in personality and attitude.

Conceptual
Figure 2 on the next page shows how the mentioned theory in the previous section is applied to develop concepts needed in conducting this study. It is shown in the figure that human relationships of UP Cebu College students are affected by the different features of social networking sites. (facebook and UP students should be introduced in operational. Internet and students should have been here)


“Social Networking Sites” (replace with internet) is placed in the conceptual framework since it is an offspring of modern technology. And it (what?) also constitutes different elements that affect human behaviour.

“UP Cebu College Students” (replace with students) is used in the framework since as individuals living in the era of modern technology, they have the tendency to adapt and use immediately whatever offspring of technology is invented. As adolescence they are easily influenced by their environment. Their environment includes the people they interact with, the place where they spend most of their time and the gadgets they use daily, especially those with internet access. Thus, as shown in figure 2 on the next page, the relationships of UP Cebu College Students are affected by the changes they acquire in using social networking sites. (repair. The theory was not integrated smoothly to the concept. see sample conceptual of your classmates)

Operational

This section of this study (omit of this study) illustrates the Operational Framework of the study which is shown on Figure 3 on the next page
The figure presented how the researchers correlate the different variable (s) identified in this study.
Furthermore, as a generation of modern technologies, all of them have an existing Facebook accounts that they use frequently.(are the students technologies? Check)

The following should have been in the conceptual:

According to Parr (2009), Facebook affects romantic relationships because it creates jealousy and misunderstanding among lovers. This effect can be explained using the theory of Technological Determinism because as an offspring of modern technology, Facebook also breeds dependency and addiction among its users
Thus, it can be hypothesized that the Facebook features’ influence to University of the Philippines Cebu College Computer Science students creates changes in their behaviour towards their respective romantic relationships.


These elements as described by McLuhan’s Technological Determinism inputs different influences to human beings that causes (faulty) different changes in an individual’s behaviour.

(operational should only present assumptions of your variables. Don’t mention theories anymore.)