cavanlit chap 5 (check my comments in parentheses in between sentences)

i just picked sentences with errors.

A theory developed by Ball-Rokeach and De Fleur(as cited by Quijano, 2000) called dependency theory which stated that people have various reliance on media and these dependencies may differ from individual to individual. Fragment (which stated…a modifying clause, made this a fragment)

Presented on the table above are the scores of the respondent (s) from each group during the 15-minute interval retention ability test.

Group A had an average of 87% while Group B had an average of 88%. (while Group B had 88%)

Group A had an average of 73% while Group B had an average of 93%. (same issue as above)

Based on the recency effect theory it is expected that that all the respondent’s scores shall decrease. (check)

Since Group A are more frequent computer users their scores implies that there is indeed a lesser retention that might be due to computer usage. (check)

The researchers did not expected (did not expect) an increase of score in Group B.

The negative relationship between time and retention ability can be proved with the help of the recency effect theory on which it was stated that a person can remember more recent information as compared to older ones. (awkward, older ones to refer to information)

Based on the pie chart on the previous page, Group A respondents uses (check) most of their time using the computers at home.

As what the researcher’s (faulty) have observed on the respondents, they use their personal computers at home not just for academic purposes but for personal satisfaction also.

Respondents in Group B comprised students with laptops. Some of the respondents do not have a free Wi-Fi access on their boarding house which means that they need to find a cheaper place to access the internet, these (comma splice: remove comma and follow ) might include internet cafes, Starbucks or for some, they just use the free internet access in school.

Recalling the treatment of Group A and Group B. (fragment) Group A was given a teacher who discusses the topic clearly and who uses visual aid as a tool in making the respondents understand more.

Group A’s teacher used an audio-visual approach in teaching that might have lead (led) to a very high positive correlation among the teacher rating and student’s retention ability.

Group B’s teacher only used the textual approach where the student’s (faulty) were just asked to read an outline of notes for a certain topic with a bit of pure reading which might have lead (led) to a low but still positive correlation of 0.328086402.

Using the Pearson Product-Moment Correlation to compare the results on the respondent’s rating on the environment and their retention ability scores; (comma) we will arrive at these following conclusions:

This implies with the help of each member and the interaction between them, the lessons will be more interesting thus there shall be an increase in the student’s ability to focus. (faulty)

Group B was given the three most un-interesting (check) topic but still managed to produce a positive correlation.

This study is not be gender (check) sensitive but 100% of the respondents in Group B were male, not to mention that one of the not so interesting topics that was discussed was Fashion, specifically Haute Couture.